Jonas Brothers Fans = Jealous Fools?

Jonas Brothers - abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

It appears that the Jonas brothers are capable of getting a scary level of devotion from their fans.  Apparantly any girl who happens to work with them risks getting hatemail, especially their co star Demi Lovato.

Though it is a little puzzeling, these fellas are self confessed virgins, by choice, preferring to abstain until… well until they get drunk and sleep around / marry everything in sight like Britney did,  presumably!

I don’t fully comprehend why abstinence is not seen as a massive turn off? I can see why conviction for beliefs can be seen as admirable, but not when those beliefs are so counter intuative, even mis-guided.

A nice normal sex life is perfectly natural, be respectful, be safe. It is not a choice between abstinence and drug fuelled orgies with a side oder of abortions. It is possible to have casual sex with no victims, it is possible to have a teen relationship that doesn’t end in pregnancy or misguied marriages.

I just hope that the current trend for abstinence doesn’t, 5-10 years down the line, lead to a trend in crystal meth induced hooker stranglings.

Complete abstinence is not natural. Just say no to abstinence!

 

Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson – House Hunting

Ronson & Lohan - a Perfect Match?

So Lindsay Lohan has decided to give this lesbian thing a proper go, and its reported that she and her sexy feminine girlfriend DJ Samantha Ronson are house hunting. Well I never, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson living together? You know call me an old fashioned cynic, but I can’t help but wonder if this is all just a phase, or publicity stunt. I mean Lohan has, in the past, mean out with some decent looking blokes… It is strange that she would then go out with Ronson who, let’s be face it, is not really in Lohan’s league on the looks front. Having said that, maybe that is proof that it is real? We should wish them all the luck, and who am I to say any different?

…

I am FameMonkey and I say it won’t last! Lohan, get back to what you’re good at doing – beautiful people!

 

Jenny McCarthy is Snubbed by McCain

Jenny McCarthy - worthy of your wank bank, not your book shelf

Self proclaimed super mommy and general all-round disgrace, Jenny McCarthy is being ignored by Presidential hopeful John McCain. Apparantly her opinions about the causes of autism are “too controversial”, or maybe he has just learnt the truth? Jenny McCarthy does not know what she is banging her drum about! (at least I hope she doesn’t because if she does, then she is dispicable)

Don’t believe how bad she is? Didn’t you know that Jenny McCarthy has a body count?

Fair play she is nice to look at… maybe she should concentrate on her strengths?

 

Simon Cowell on the Rich List

Simon Cowell is Rich… but maybe you didn’t realise that he is RICH. That’s right the Celebrity jusge has made it to the top 3 of the rich list, read more at Simon Cowell on the Rich List

Cowell with his Trademark Grin

 

Paris Hilton Attacked!

By a monkey! Hurrah!

It nearly escaped my attention, but one of my banana munching brethren has had enough and turned on the skanky good for nothing heiress; sadly she wasn’t as seriously hurt as some people might like, but even worse this probably won’t stop her sad spoilt brat ways, I mean who goes lingerie shopping with a monkey?

Still at least it gives us great headlines like Paris Hilton Attacked by Monkey!

 

Who isn’t in Love with Zac Efron?

Zac Efron recently attended the European High School Musical 2 Premiere, I was there too, and I have to say I don’t see what the big deal about the supposedly 20 year old boy man is! He is quite short, looks about 5 foot 3 (remember I have seen him in person before you start throwing your wild fantasies about), a bit too skinny and kinda spotty even with his makeup on.

I am clearly a minority though as just about everyone these days is in love with Zac Efron!

Give it 18months and he will whored up and off his head on crack… Sigh. When will they learn??

 

Angelina Jolie doesn’t love Brad Pitt!

Okay so maybe that was one of my slight exaggerations there but don’t you think it a bit weird that Angelina doesn’t say “I love you” to Brad?

Yeah sure maybe they are so tight that they don’t need to… but it does strike me as a little bit sad, it is fun to say, and I am sure both Brad and Angelina are quite easy to love!

What do you think?

 

Kylie Minogue’s Baby Wish

Yes I know that my normal methodology is to criticise and belittle, but I read today that Kylie is having a fertility operation. But its Kylie, and in touching circumstances so I just can’t be mean with this one! And no its not the effects of the fever I have had for this last week!

Who doesn’t like Kylie? So I hope you will all join me in wishing her the best of luck

And hopefully she will be successful, because we need more sexy minogue ladies for the next generation!

And I know there is always Danni that could have kids, but its not the same… yeah sure I would, but she’s not Kylie!

 

Jordan Sex Bath

In a disturbing turn of events, and characteristic lack of shame, here are some of Jordan’s Sex Secrets, though to call them secrets is somewhat laughable now!

I call you attention in particular to the quote “we have to plan sex really carefully. With kids it’s always hard as one of them could walk in”. er? Lock the bloody door then!

Hmmm I thought with her money (even Peter Andre must have a few quid despite being a talentless plank) that they would be able to afford a few locks?

Seeing as Jordan says her favourite place for marital knookie is in the bathroom, we can also infer that there is no lock on the bathroom door! So if you are ever round their place, remember to knock or you might walk in on Peter Andre having a dump!

oh dear god

 

Jessica Biel Naked… well almost

Jessica Biel has agreed to bare her breasts and arse in her new movie. Good news for some, certainly, but it nearly didn’t happen because of contract negotiations and family concerns.

She plays a stripper in the new movie, but she was worried about her dad and brother seeing some of the good stuff. She said: “I definitely worry about how my family would react. You can’t help thinking about your dad or brother seeing something.”

Now FameMonkey can’t help but wonder why she just doesn’t say, “Look guys, you’re my family and I don’t want you too see my fun bits, so please don’t see the movie”… sure they would respect her wishes?

Wouldn’t they…?